30min Essay: "Choices"

 

Life is a series of choices. A series of choosing different paths that lead us down different roads that take us to different destinations. I find this sentiment to be grounding and beautiful as it is a shared experience (a recognisable and human narrative) that is irrespective of time and space. To be human, is to make choices. However, what happens when we look back at our choices? How can we be sure that we made the right ones? Fronted by these thoughts, I'm comforted by Libba Bray’s comment as it brings to light a raw sentiment - nothing in life is sure and all you can do is be content with the decisions you make. 

Robert Frost’s quote provides a visual landscape with which we can envision our lives. At every stage, prior to a metaphorical change, we are presented with a choice. Sometimes the options can be as simple as right/left, A/B or this/that. However, at other times, the options can be convoluted and present a challenge within themselves. What I find intriguing about Frost’s insight is that his reasoning for choosing a path was not derived by the foreseeable destination that it would take him to, rather, the novelty of the experience it would provide. He is not concerned with immediate path, rather the unique destination it will take him. This perspective is interesting as it goes against the conventions of our society. Our society tells us to choose the safest, and well-trodden paths as they will provide us with the upmost security. Our society tells us to “go to school” and then immediately “go to university” and then proceed to “find a stable job and settle down”. It is true that these paths provide a sense of security, but that’s just it - it is a SENSE of security. Additionally, this sense provides no basis for being content or comfortable with the path chosen. 

Frost’s comment elucidates that the decisions he made that went against the grain is what made all the difference to him. It’s inferred that these are positive differences, however even if they’re not, it’s these paths that are fundamental to Frost’s paradigm and ultimately his character. So even though these decisions may not have been secure, for Frost he had a sense of comfort with the choices he made. In many ways, it’s this courage to discover new terrains of human experience and contribute to the repository of human wisdom that defines the human spirit. By taking the path less travelled, we arrive at a different (and uniquely profound) perspective of our world. 

However, this doesn’t answer the question - how do we find comfort in these decisions? How do we prevent the human tendency to think back and wonder - “What if?”. This is where the power of Libba Bray’s comment comes in. Bray says that there are no safe choices, just a choice that you made and one that you didn’t. Relating back to Frost’s imagery, there is just a path you’ve taken and one that you haven’t, apart from that there is no other sentiment. I think this is an important lesson one must learn - to not look at choices and ponder on the possibilities. These possibilities that we envision are projections of best-cases scenarios that don’t account for the obstacles that would be there. Obstacles that are inevitable on every path. Bray’s comment strikes a chord with me as it makes me realise the extent to which so much of life can be languishing over divergent paths rather than seeing them simple choices that weren’t made. There is a raw sentiment to Bray’s comment, a type of grandmotherly advice that restructures your perspective and helps appreciate the life (and paths) you’ve taken to be here. 

To be human is to make choices. To be human is also to sometimes question those choices. However, when we restructure our perspectives on what a choice means we can remove expectations from how we expect those choices to pan out. And personally, I find comfort in that.